"Everybody's friendly...

but nobody's friends dear God when will I be where I should be?" Not my words, but he took them right out of my mouth. It isn't without reason that Morrissey and his art have played an important part throughout my life. Somehow his words always followed me in my life and there were always songs that could comfort me during the hard times because the right words were always there. Somehow the words have some universal meaning that appeal to so many people...There has not been much constant in my life, but he has been...

"Everybody's friendly but nobody's friends..." appeals to me in a way because the whole 'mask' thing, the observed, save distance people keep in everyday life is starting to annoy me. Life should be lived to the full and by hiding behind masks and not showing who we really are, we are doing the exact opposite in my opinion. To me it's always been about being true to yourself and the irony about it all is that these days I have the feeling I've been forsaking myself, I've been playing roles, trying to make some kind of good impression even when I felt it went against the deepest me.

"dear God when will I be where I should be?"...when will I have succeeded in developing this true inner me into something I am proud of, into my art, some kind of art, whether it be songs, writing or pictures? Sometimes I feel I miss the one truly necessary attribute and that it the 'power of the will' - the energy, the true drive to want to succeed. At times life in general feels so overwhelming it numbs me, while this emotion should be my drive, the force that makes it all happen...